When making an online purchase for the beach what product does the Australian man go for? Will it be board shorts online or budgie smugglers online? It is the one question that can divide Australia more than even what footy team is supported. Which is the favourite of Australian men or maybe, more importantly, Australian women? Each camp is passionate for their support of one and their condemnation of the other.
The skimpy nature of what is affectionately termed ‘budgie smugglers’ has been the fodder of jokes for many years. Board shorts offer a more modest alternative but the argument rages on. When do budgie smugglers become just underwear? How far from the beach can be travelled before the appropriateness of the garment is brought into question?
Serious swimmers who crave a more streamlined figure in the water would favour the briefer garment, allowing less resistance in the water.
Modesty suggests that board shorts provide a less graphic view of what a man has to offer. Critics may suggest that a woman’s bikini leave less to the imagination than the tight men’s bathers.
Team budgie smuggler would have us believe that the bathers are Australian through and through. They blame the influx of American culture for the recent fashions of boys jammers. They would attribute board shorts to the shyness of the adolescent youth and state that grown men should gravitate back to the tighter fitting and more swimmer friendly option. Skimpy suits provide more ease of movement and are made of quick drying material that is user friendly in the water. Made of spandex or lycra, the swimwear is used by sportsmen the world over. They are worn in many water sports, such as polo, swimming and diving.
The board short camp would argue that their bather of choice is more modest and allows the wearer a loose fit that covers up the bulges of manhood. The designs are colourful and stylish and the shorts can be worn on or off the beach. A T-shirt can be added to allow the wearer to walk around freely without the need for changing. Worn for surfers, the shorts provide a protection from skin rashes and chaffing. When the weather becomes too hot for wet suits, the shorts can provide additional protection. Chaffing can be avoided as the layer of material offers a buffer to the skin. Body image plays a part in the fashion for a baggy short, whether legs are too fat or too skinny, the board short disguises what the budgie smuggler does not.
A famous advocate of the budgie smuggler is the Australian Prime Minister himself. He has been frequently photographed wearing the item and is proud of the Australian institution.
Whatever, the swimwear Australia remains a nation proud of its aquatic heritage. So, don the swimwear of choice and hit the beach, mate!